I’m compiling this list not because I’m trying to pick a fight with my mom or mother in law, but rather as a reminder that 30 years from now I could turn into either one of them.  Hopefully I still have this list to remind me not to be a crazy mom or mother-in-law to my son and future daughter-in-law.

For your information. when my son was born my mother and mother-in-law took turns in staying with us and watched our son, back to back for about a year.  So my mom stayed for about 3 months, then mother-in-law (MIL) stayed for another 3 months, then my mom came back here for another 3 months and so forth.  Boy did we learn something about each other during those period!!  Everything was great until towards the end and we were ready to kill each other.  Needless to say, I’m still grateful that they both were here and helped us watching our son and taking care of household chores.

So what drives us crazy about our moms and mother-in-law in general?  Below is the list and keep in mind that these are based on both personal experience and others :

1. Respect Our Privacy
   We are not eight anymore, so please knock on the door before you come into my room.   Even though you know my husband is not around, but still… I might be just come out of the shower and not completely dressed yet.  I know you’ve seen me naked… as a child…. but things have changed since then (if you know what I mean).  Seriously!!
2. Please clean up your hair
   As we get older, we might be shedding.  Trust me, I do have that problem too from time to time.   What I normally do is lean over to the counter top or bathroom sink while brushing my hair so it’s easier to just sweep it away with toilet paper into a trash can.  Simple, right?
3. Stop teaching me on how to treat my husband
   I’m not you, don’t want to be you and will never be you!  I will treat my husband however I want to treat him.  Understand your precious son will always be your baby, but I’m not going to replace your job and be his mother too.  I’m not quitting my job so that I can be a stay at home mom and serving your son.   That’s just totally absurd!
4. Stop making us feel guilty about sending our son to daycare
   Yes it might be hard in the beginning.  Yes our son was crying constantly when we left him at the daycare.   And yes our son got sick a lot during the first year.  But he built his immune system early on and believe it or not… Now he loves daycare!  He learns how to socialize, share, arts and crafts, alphabets, and best of all, he learns how to be independent.  So much more than what I could offer had I become a stay at home mom.
5. Last but not least (and my favorite), your thirty-some-year-old advise on taking care of baby doesn’t apply anymore these days.

• You cannot lay the baby down on his stomach until he is aged appropriate.  I don’t care if that’s how you did it thirty years ago or how your mom did it to you and your siblings bazillion years ago, you are not supposed to do that anymore.  Perhaps you need to read the danger of SIDS before suggesting that
• No, my baby is not going to be cross-eyed just because I hang a few toys on his car seat or bouncer
• Yes it’s OK to warm up baby food in a microwave.  A lot of moms these days make fresh baby food and freeze them in a container.  Babies only eat so much, it’s not practical having to make it fresh on each meal.  Besides, microwave has come so far along way since it was first invented 30 years ago.  You’re not killing a baby or causing cancer just from warming up baby food for a few minutes.  Now, cooking food in a non-compatible microwave… that’s a different story
• You cannot give medicine to babies unless they’re having a fever
• When babies do have fever, you are supposed to give them a bath aside from medicine.  Giving a warm bath helps reducing temperature
• When in doubt, we’ll ask (or Google)

No matter how annoying our moms or mother in laws are, we still love them.  I’m sure there are lots of things about us that annoy the heck out of them.  Feel free to drop some comments if there are anything that annoy you about your mom or mother-in-law.

Tags: mother daughter in law relationship , mother in law , mother in law issues

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